How To Stop Overthinking?

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Overthinking is a hallmark of anxiety - a mental tug-of-war where our rational mind is overpowered by an anxious mind shouting “what if?” scenarios. It’s an exhausting cycle of arguing, analyzing, and ruminating, yet it feels so hard to break free. Overthinking, also known as rumination, is not only a common symptom of anxiety and stress but also one of the most misunderstood.

 

Let’s explore why overthinking happens, how anxiety fuels it, and, more importantly, what steps we can take to break the cycle.

 

The Role of the Rational and Anxious Minds

 

We all have two “minds” at play:

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• The Rational Mind: This is your calm, logical voice—the one that assesses reality, problem-solves, and guides you through life. It’s always present, but it becomes quieter during periods of anxiety.

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• The Anxious Mind: When anxiety is activated, this mind takes the wheel. It shouts worst-case scenarios, bombards you with intrusive “what ifs,” and convinces you that every thought needs to be solved right now.

 

Overthinking is essentially the process of these two minds battling it out. The rational mind tries to dispute or “correct” the anxious mind’s worst-case scenarios, leading to a loop of mental arguments. This ruminating process not only keeps us stuck in anxiety but also feeds the threat response, keeping it active.

 

What Is Overthinking, Really?

 

Overthinking - or rumination - is the act of repeatedly analyzing, replaying, or problem-solving a situation in an attempt to gain certainty or control. While it’s normal to think things through, overthinking becomes problematic when it fixates on fears, uncertainty, or imagined threats.

 

Research shows that rumination is strongly linked to anxiety and depression, with overthinkers often falling into a cycle of negative thoughts and emotional distress (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2000). Anxiety primes us to see situations through the lens of the worst-case scenario, making rumination feel urgent and overwhelming.

 

Why Do We Overthink?

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1. The Illusion of Control: Overthinkers are often people who value control or certainty in their lives. When faced with uncertainty, the mind seeks answers to “solve” the discomfort.

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2. Fear of Uncertainty: Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, and rumination is often an attempt to eliminate it. Unfortunately, overthinking rarely provides clarity - it keeps us trapped in mental loops.

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3. Anxiety’s Lens: When the threat response is activated, we see the world through a distorted lens, where problems appear bigger, outcomes feel catastrophic, and no amount of reasoning feels like enough.

 

Some of the core fears that fuel overthinking include:

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• Guilt: “What if I made the wrong choice?”

• Rejection: “What if people don’t like me because of this?”

• Abandonment: “What if I’m left on my own?”

• Threats to Self-Identity: “What if this changes how I see myself?”

• Trauma & Grief “What if the bad thing happens to me?”

 

Breaking Free from the Overthinking Cycle

 

As someone who used to overthink constantly, I understand how difficult it can feel to escape the cycle. I would argue with every thought, hoping to think my way out of anxiety, but the harder I tried, the more stuck I became. What I’ve learned, both personally and professionally, is that the way out isn’t through thinking—it’s through stepping back. Here’s how:

 

1. Recognize When You’re Overthinking

 

The first step is awareness. Notice when your rational and anxious minds are arguing. Pay attention to the “what if” scenarios and acknowledge that this is your anxious mind at work.

 

2. Catch the Urge to Solve Everything

 

Overthinking thrives on the belief that more attention and effort will resolve uncertainty. However, with anxiety, there’s no guarantee of 100% certainty. It’s okay to leave the thought unresolved. Remind yourself: “I don’t need to solve this right now.”

 

3. Tolerate Uncertainty

 

People who overthink often struggle with the discomfort of uncertainty. Learning to sit with uncertainty is key to calming the threat response. Over time, as your brain learns that uncertainty isn’t dangerous, the urge to ruminate will lessen.

 

4. Postpone Problem-Solving

 

When you feel the need to “fix” a thought, try postponing it. Tell yourself you’ll revisit the problem later, when you’re calmer. Often, stepping away provides clarity and shows you that the issue wasn’t as urgent as it seemed.

 

5. Don’t Engage with the Argument

 

The anxious mind wants you to argue with it—that’s how it stays in control. Instead of engaging, acknowledge the thought and let it pass without judgment. Practice saying, “That’s my anxious mind talking,” and move on.

 

6. Practice Relaxing and Switching Off

 

When the threat response is active, thinking won’t help. Instead, focus on relaxing your body and switching off. Whether it’s reading, listening to music, or engaging in a calming activity, allowing your mind to rest helps deactivate the anxious state.

 

Why Thinking Won’t Solve Overthinking

 

One of the biggest traps overthinkers fall into is believing they can think their way out of the problem. Anxiety convinces you that the more you analyze or ruminate, the closer you’ll get to certainty or control. But when the threat response is active, you’re not in a state to think rationally.

 

Overthinking becomes a cycle:

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1. Anxiety creates discomfort and uncertainty.

2. The mind tries to eliminate uncertainty by ruminating.

3. Rumination keeps the threat response active, making the uncertainty feel even worse.

 

The way out isn’t more thinking - it’s stepping back, tolerating uncertainty, and giving your mind space to reset.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Overthinking is a natural response to anxiety, but it’s also a habit that keeps us stuck. By recognizing the role of the rational and anxious minds, stepping away from the mental arguments, and learning to tolerate uncertainty, you can begin to break free from the cycle.

 

Remember: it’s okay to leave thoughts unresolved. You don’t have to figure everything out right now. Anxiety thrives on attention, but the less you engage with it, the quieter it becomes.

 

If this resonates with you, you can learn more through:

• 🎙 Disordered Podcast: disordered.fm

• 📸 Instagram: Follow me for daily anxiety tips at @anxietyjosh.

 

References

1. Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504–511.

2. Borkovec, T. D., Robinson, E., Pruzinsky, T., & DePree, J. A. (1983). Preliminary exploration of worry: Some characteristics and processes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 21(1), 9-16.